I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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