I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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