PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
