I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
