Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
