i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
honey bunches of taint.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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