i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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