I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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