Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
