It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
