batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I pour the whiskey from now on
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
