He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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