let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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