My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
