Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
