If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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