everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
