Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
