my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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