If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
