so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
