Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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