Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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