And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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