People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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