Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
