This girl is more easily done than said...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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