Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
