420 ftw
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
