A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
