No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
