Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
