I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
