Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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