so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
