i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
