I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
