I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
