she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
