1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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