That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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