I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
