I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
