Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Too much gin, very little bucket
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
