brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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