I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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