omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think my vagina is haunted
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
