If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
