Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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