Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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