They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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