R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
