I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
