What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
