dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
